I want to give my best to my kids, my job, and to Laurel, but there are just too many things pulling on me. I thought that if I could just get enough time to get caught up on all the things I needed to do, I could then stay caught up without half killing myself running here and there.
I decided to take Tuesday off. My experiment did not need my attention at the moment, and I had been in the lab all weekend, so today was a good day to try to play catch up in my personal life.
I also told Laurel that I thought we ought to take a little time apart this week.
I'm going to miss her like hell, but it'll be worse if I keel over dead from exhaustion. Besides, in addition to everything else I have going on, I'm trying to get Sophia into the Jarman Academy. That's the private school Dr. Drummond's kids attend, and she's always raving about how great it is. I'm sure Sophia's grades are good enough to get in, but I have to fill out a long ass application and arrange for references and interviews and all that mess. And I have to have it all done this week.
Plus there are a million other things I need to do. Like getting Marcus some non-girly pajamas. And I guess Laurel could use the time off, herself. She's got a lot going on, getting ready for her Grand Opening and everything. I'm thinking she could use some extra hours in the day, even if she won't admit it.
I went shopping on Tuesday after I got Sophia off to school. I got several sets of PJs for Marcus, but they didn't have any decent ones for Sophia. That was troublesome. She's likely to get upset if he gets something and she doesn't. So I got her a real, big-girl watch. If she has a fit over the PJs, I'll give her the watch. If she doesn't notice, I can put it aside for Christmas.
I'm getting so damn organized!
Anyway, it turned out to be a good thing I did arrange for some time off, because by the time I got home from shopping, I felt like hammered shit. At first, I thought I was just tired, but then I recognized the symptoms of the flu.
Isabel said she thought she might have it, too.
It was a struggle, but I did manage to complete Sophia's application to the Jarman Academy.
I felt so bad, I took Wednesday off work, too.
Sophia woke up sick Wednesday morning. I kept her home from school and just let her goof off all day.
I'm afraid I didn't pay much attention to Marcus, either. I stuck him in his high chair and let him watch Blue's Clues all afternoon.
Isabel wasn't much help. She said her sinuses were bothering her.
It was when I was lying on the couch in a fever-haze that I reached an important conclusion.
I decided that the time has come to hire a nanny.
I've been thinking about this for quite a while now. But I never could bring myself to do it. It means admitting that something is wrong with my wife - so wrong that she can't or won't take care of her own kids.
And even now, I feel bad about it. Like, if I wasn't spending so much time with Laurel, I could do more for my family.
But if I have a nanny to do the everyday stuff, like feeding the kids and cleaning up after them, I can concentrate on the good stuff. I can play with them and take them to the park and help Sophia with her homework and read to Marcus. All that kind of stuff a Dad should do.
Isabel was pretty pissed off when she looked at my laptop and saw that I'd been searching for a nanny. I don't feel like getting into the shit she started over that.
I feel like right now, hiring a nanny is the best thing for our family. And so that's what's going to happen!
