Ben called about nine o'clock Saturday night to let me know he wasn't going to come over. Seems he had a problem with the garbage disposal.
He acted kind of funny about it - like he expected me to be upset or something. I don't think that Ben really understands the role he has in my life.
I had only known Ben for a couple of hours when I realized I was in love with him. Our attraction is real and deep. I know that he's my soulmate.
When he told me that he was married, I let him know that it makes no difference to me. His marriage changes my behavior, but not my feelings. I couldn't just erase the fact that I love him.
Sometimes I get the idea that he thinks I sit around pining for him when he can't be with me because of his family or his job or whatever. That's not true. I would prefer to have him near me all the time, but I accept that this can't always be so. Although he is the center of my world, my life is very full.
I work out.
I do the things I need to do.
I enjoy going out and spending time with friends.
And, of course, setting up my business takes up a lot of my time.
I have always dreamed of owning my own fashion boutique - and designing my own clothing to sell there! One week from Monday, that dream will become a reality. It wouldn't have been possible without Ben. He loaned me the $5000 necessary to lease premises and stock the store. Well, I say loaned. Actually, the money was a gift, but I intend to pay him back.
I may be Ben's mistress, but I won't be his kept woman!
